Not this year.

Today is January 9, and I already have not one, but two words. Yes, indeed. We have jam-packed so many events into the first week-and-a-half of this year, that I already know what God is trying to show me.

It started on New Year’s Eve. We had family over and were going to celebrate with them by making homemade pizzas, shooting off fireworks, and having a bonfire. But first, I thought, let me throw a load of clothes in the wash so I can stay on top of the laundry. We have a front-loading washer, and basically it broke mid-wash, which means we couldn’t open the door. You see, a front-loading washer cannot be opened if there is water inside it – it stays locked. So, after my husband tried several things, he finally had to rig a wet-vac hose and some plastic cups to vacuum out the water so we could open the door and figure out what was wrong.

Twice…As we were “celebrating” for New Year’s Eve…

Long story short, we had to buy a new washer (which will not deliver for two weeks!). So, no laundry.

Amidst that, my husband came down with a 3-day cold bug that knocked him out. One-by-one, it made its way to each of us (I am just now able to get back on my feet). You can imagine the difficulty of not having a washer while you have sickness in the house!

Oh, and did I mention that our air conditioner/heater unit broke? Yes, we had to have the repairman out here THREE times to finally get it fixed. Meanwhile, we froze while we were sick (Florida’s 28-degree cold snap hit for a couple days during this time).

Next in our continuing saga, our shower handle broke off the wall. After Dave tried to fix it, he realized that it was a broken cartridge, and that it required a plumber to repair it.

The grand finale was a car accident. While I was trying to sleep off a fever and stuffy head, my husband was running errands and was hit by a red-light-runner. Thankfully, he was not hurt, but because of the angle of the impact, four cars were involved. The entire front end of his car (both sides and the front!) was smashed. Oh, and the driver at fault was driving with a suspended license and has no insurance.

So here we are, nine days into 2018, with a long to-do list that I was not planning on. It includes germy laundry piling up that I can’t wash, repairmen for the a/c-heat and shower, new washer delivery (can’t wait until Friday!), paperwork for the car insurance company plus taking the car in to get an estimate on the damage (praying it won’t be totaled – it’s paid for), all while trying to recoup from the last few days of feeling like I was a limp piece of spaghetti.

Well, I could certainly mope and wallow in this terrible beginning of the year. But I know there is something else happening. You see, even though we have things breaking, we do have the ability to replace them. We had to do a bit of financial shuffling, but we can still do it. So, I am grateful for God’s provision.

The sickness? Well, I know many people who deal with continuing illness daily. As I was sick, I was pretty sure that in a few days, I would be better. What a blessing that God protected me and my family from getting something worse.

And the accident? If my husband was just a few feet further into the intersection when he was hit, he might have been terribly hurt. I know that God protected him.

So instead of asking God why he would allow all this mayhem to happen in the last several days, I am realizing that He protected and provided for us. He protected us from getting a sickness that was worse than what we had. He protected Dave by keeping him from getting hurt. He provides for us so that we can fix the things in the house that need fixing. He is present. He is engaged.

Therefore, protection and provision are my words for the year. I know they can potentially involve drama like we’ve already seen, but what a wonderful God we have who knows our hurts and our difficulties. As the events of this year unfold, then, I choose to look for his provision and protection in it.

Do you have a word for the year?

The post A Year’s Worth of Events in 9 Days – God’s Provision and Protection first appeared on Sherri Seligson.

For example, when playing with a toddler, you soon realize that they love repetition and regular routine. They thrive when there is a known thing ahead…when there is snack time, then play time, then nap time (well, not always that one!).

Suffice it to say that their little spirits are designed for that regularity.

Yet that doesn’t always excite me as a mom. I get tired of the day-in-and-day-out monotony. It isn’t exciting. It makes one day seem to drag into another. During the days when I had 4 little ones aged 6 and under, I longed for adventure. I dreamed of challenges. I would have even settled for a little spice in my food (my kids couldn’t handle spicy).

But I came across this awesome quote from G.K. Chesterton the other day.

Because children have abounding vitality, because they are in spirit fierce and free, therefore they want things repeated and unchanged. They always say, “Do it again”; and the grown-up person does it again until he is nearly dead. For grown-up people are not strong enough to exult in monotony. But perhaps God is strong enough to exult in monotony. It is possible that God says every morning, “Do it again” to the sun; and every evening, “Do it again” to the moon. It may not be automatic necessity that makes all daisies alike; it may be that God makes every daisy separately, but has never got tired of making them. It may be that He has the eternal appetite of infancy; for we have sinned and grown old, and our Father is younger than we.

Have you ever pushed a child on a swing? If they had their way, they would have you pushing them indefinitely. When they are playing in the dirt, they don’t want to stop to come inside to get cleaned up. And then when they are in the tub, they don’t want to get out to dry off for dinner.

They are “in spirit fierce and free.” They “exult in monotony.” But as Chesterton suggests, God seems to revel in monotony, too. Each day since the beginning of time He has made the sun to rise again. He has made the moon to continue in its path.

Since creation, he has made an infinite number of daisies – each one like the other – but he makes them without tiring. And we marvel at a springtime bouquet of them, right? They are still breathtaking to behold!

I love how Chesterton says that perhaps God never tires of this regularity because he has the eternal appetite of infancy. We, as grownups, worry about tomorrow. We stress that we are not keeping up with the laundry or the dishes or whatever else brings stress. We are not living moment by moment.

Yet our children do.

They can help us to see things from our Father’s vantage point in that they have not “grown old” like we have. They have a jubilant, joyful perspective.

It is the same each day. Play. Laugh. Do it again.

Let’s try to remind ourselves that we are God’s children and we can gleefully embrace each day he gives us with laughter, enjoying the fun things of the moment. We can linger a bit more in those times, saying “Do it again, Lord!”

I know there are worries in this world. But let’s try to use the eyes of a child to view things around us. Let’s ask God for strength to exult in monotony. Indeed, monotony can be beautiful!

The post The Beauty of Monotony first appeared on Sherri Seligson.

Have you ever struggled with mom-guilt? You know what I’m talking about. When you relive moments when you said things to your children you shouldn’t have (or just said things with the wrong tone of voice). Or how about when you wish you could have given your child an experience that you didn’t have the time/finances/energy for?

Today I am guest posting on Rachael Carman’s blog about forgiveness, but it has to do with forgiving ourselves in light of the forgiveness we receive from our Lord. Hop on over. I’d love if you would read and leave a comment!

Click here.

Thanks! ~Sherri

The post Mom Guilt – Guest Posting at Rachael Carman’s Blog first appeared on Sherri Seligson.

Folks. We have to shift our thinking about this. Let me start by giving you a bit of my story.

Before I had children, I had a pretty fun job. I worked at Walt Disney World. I was a marine biologist with the responsibility of collection, transport, and care of over 100 different ocean species living in a 6-million-gallon aquarium. I regularly swam with dolphins. I published scientific research on shark behavior. They sent me to the Florida Keys each summer to fish and dive at their satellite facility.

Yeah, it was fun. My career was starting to expand as I wrote for scientific journals and magazines.

But then I had our first child. Both my husband and I really believed that God was calling me to stay home and be there full time as our family grew. So to the amazement of several of my co-workers, family, and friends, I quit my job and came home full time to be with our son (and in the next few years, more children).

I considered it a promotion to motherhood.

But I had to keep reminding myself of that. After all, it definitely was not as glamorous or mentally exciting as what I did before. Some days I felt like my “job responsibility” mainly consisted of cleaning up bodily fluids coming out of tiny humans.

I have to be honest. Those days weren’t very “fulfilling,” at least on the surface of my thoughts. With four children ages 6 and under, I was in full-on Mom mode: messy hair, sleep-deprived, and fueled by peanut butter and jelly crusts.

Yet, when I really thought about it, I knew it was the best thing I could be doing and was ultimately the most fulfilling occupation for me. Today I cherish those sweet reading times on the couch with all the children snuggled around me. *I* wanted to be the one who bandaged their scraped knees or scolded and encouraged them when they were learning to share.

And THEN… if we weren’t weird enough in this culture…we really felt God directing us to homeschool our children.

So my “career” changed a bit more. I added curriculum to my days. I had to learn how to teach proper writing and grammar skills. I studied all I could about learning styles, scope & sequences, and transcripts.

Today, after 21 years of homeschooling, all of our kids have graduated and are out of the home.

You might say, then, that I can finally get back to my career.

But I would answer you by saying that I never left it.

What do I mean? Well, granted, I didn’t remain working as a marine biologist once we had kids, but I continued in my skills and career-building as I faithfully (sometimes not-so-faithfully) did what God had before me.

During those days of homeschooling, I actually gained an education in areas that I had been lacking. Although my grammar skills had been OK before, let me tell you that after teaching elementary- and middle-school-level grammar four times through, I can now hold my own with the grammar-Nazis!

Looking back from the vantage point I have today, I can see how God placed me in various positions and gave me certain skills in order to prepare me for what He had for me right now.

You see, working at Disney put me in front of hundreds of people at a time, so I had to learn rather quickly how to speak to large groups. That job also gave me career experience and exposure. Coming home gave me an education on how children learn and grow. Each of my four children has different learning styles and unique needs. When I began homeschooling, there was little available curriculum so we often had to create our own (I can pretty much write a unit study on anything…I mean anything… Yep, even dirt…I can do it…).

I gained more skills in my academic field, too. Because of my science background, I offered to teach science to other homeschooled students as well as my own. In these little informal co-ops, I gained more skills as I began to understand the best ways to explain scientific principles, using examples and hands-on demonstrations.

And I loved it!

So what am I doing today? Well, I am speaking at homeschool conferences, science camps, and ladies’ retreats to encourage families. I am also writing curriculum for middle school and high school. And I am filming instructional DVDs to accompany science courses, enabling me to use hands-on examples to explain scientific concepts.

But I could NOT be doing this if I hadn’t gone through the skill-building pathway God had for me. In those early days of being home with my children, I had no idea what was ahead. The technology to do what I am doing today had not even been invented yet!

However, God knew.

He knew what would be the best “career path” for me. And as I have the blessing to look back with today’s perspective, I am grateful to be able to see that what I did was not a side-track or putting my career on hold. Indeed, it was EXACTLY what I needed to do and experience so that I could build the skills necessary to do what I am doing right now (even the grammar!).

So if you are wondering about the spot God has you in right now, know that it is not a Plan B for your life. Raising and training children in itself is one of the BEST things we can do with the ministry of our lives. It is the MOST fulfilling. In the long run, it is more fulfilling than ANY other career.

And know that your external career is not being put on hold. We all have to think of it as another step in God’s plan for our individual journeys. Each journey will look a little different, because we each play a different role in the body of Christ.

But EACH ONE is a vital role. EACH ONE is worthwhile. And EACH ONE is made up of a pathway that God will use for His good.

The post Is Your Career “On Hold” As a Mom? first appeared on Sherri Seligson.

Why don’t we get to walk along with them as they train? Well, part of it is that we are enjoying a movie that cannot be much longer than 2 hours (Audiences don’t like that). But the other part is that we really don’t enjoy the long, drawn out, often agonizing difficulty of the day-to-day work that is required.

You see, to accomplish anything on a large scale, we need to work hard. The process will take a long time. Whether it is training for a big event, growing a large crop of plants, earning a degree from college, or training our children.

These big things take time.

But we, in our Netflix-binging-because-we-can’t-wait-for-the-next-episode society, don’t want to endure the long process. We want it now.

Right?

Well, the same goes for things in our lives. As a mom, I really had a hard time understanding that with my children. I wanted them to potty train now. Learn their times tables now. Do their chores without reminders now.

Basically, I wanted MY LIFE to be easier NOW.

But that isn’t how it works. God, in His wisdom, knows that the process is as important as the result.

LIFE happens in the montage.

Those day-to-day experiences are the things we remember. The sweet moments when we read together on the couch. The gentle hugs we get after the discipline and reconciliation. The laughs as we come inside from the rain, carrying groceries from the van.

The “montage times” teach us about perseverance, hard work, courage, and patience. They help us to grow and mature. And they help us build relationships with our children.

Oh, it is not the easy way, definitely. But it is definitely the BEST way.

Do you feel like you are in the montage, today? Don’t spend all your time wishing you were at the end. Enjoy the process. Build those relationships as you grow together with your family.

And listen for the inspiring musical score of your household, even if it comes with an occasional scream or whine!

The post Living in a Sports Montage first appeared on Sherri Seligson.

Most of them are in their early 20s.

That’s right, they are big-boys and big-girls doing big-people stuff. Were you surprised to hear that? Aren’t they too young to have things like a mortgage? After thinking about that, I realized something.

In our Western culture, we are getting things backwards.

When our children are young, we do everything to get them to grow up quickly. We feel pressured to have them reading by 3 or 4. They should start a second language soon; they need to have that new computer game that teaches how to program; they need a plan for when to start SAT prep courses; they have to begin music lessons so they have time to excel.

We even want them to LOOK grown up. Cool clothes. Trendy hairstyles. Professional manicures and pedicures.

And don’t even get me started on the movies they are allowed to watch. Some parents have no problem taking their young children to PG-13 movies (or even R-rated ones!). All in this desire to help them grow up faster…to be prepared…to excel.

But what happens when they become 17, 18, and enter their college years? We make excuses for them to take several years to “find out what life is all about.” We let them stay at home for years and years, even if they have full time jobs and are bringing in a decent income. We buy them their first car, pay for their insurance, do their laundry, and even make their doctor and dentist appointments.

Now don’t get me wrong. It is good to prepare our children well when they are young and to encourage them to excel. I even think those trendy little toddler outfits can be adorable! And it is also good to help our older children as they navigate early adulthood. But I think in our culture we are taking these two seasons of life a bit too far.

The little ones are suffering because they feel too stressed out. They have no time to be bored, to make up games, to play outside. They aren’t allowed to develop at their own pace for fear of them falling behind. They don’t have opportunities to dream and imagine. As they are pushed to do more and more, filling their days with soccer practice, music lessons, and hours of homework, their little minds are overwhelmed. Some children are plagued with headaches. Others develop stomach issues. And still others will melt down.

The older ones are suffering because we do everything for them. We make excuses for them, allowing them to continue to behave immaturely. We do the hard tasks so they don’t have to, and they fail to rise up to do those tasks for themselves. They feel entitled and expect the world to give and do for them. I believe a lot of that is because deep down inside, they really don’t believe they can do much for themselves.

Well, like much of everything in this life, there needs to be a balance. I encourage you parents to carefully weigh everything your young one is doing. Believe it or not, boredom is a productive thing in young children. We shouldn’t feel like we have to provide every possible experience for them before they hit puberty. We just need to love them. Spend time with them. Have experiences with them.

Sometimes that can happen while they are taking a painting class. And other times that can happen while you’re sitting on the couch at home, reading a book together.

And it is our responsibility to teach our older ones to be self-sufficient. They need to learn how to cook, clean a house, wash their clothes, and even change a tire. We need to instill in them a hard work ethic and teach (and model) character. We need to let them make the phone calls and do their taxes once they get their first job.

In our “enlightened” society today, our twenty- and thirty-somethings are having a hard time trying to grow up, but a hundred years ago a couple might get married at age 14 or 15 and start to run their household.

Let’s rethink how we see our children. As more and more research affirms that little ones need to slow down in their “growing up” and teens and twenties need to speed up, we need to revisit how we do things…for the benefit of our children and our world!

The post We’re Raising Them Backwards first appeared on Sherri Seligson.

It really didn’t matter what the subject material was…what time does the pizza place close; do they play rugby in Canada; which state has the coldest temperature forecast today; when did Renaissance architecture reach its heights (We have eclectic conversations!)… they provided an almost instant answer as a result of being in the digital age.

Now, I am not against technology, but often we use this ready-made access as a crutch, and it can hamper our children’s education.

Here are some issues we have to think about.

1. Digital natives, or people under 40 years old, are less likely to store information in their minds. That’s because they know they have ready access to the Internet and see it as a free vending machine of information. They have less experience using libraries or texts to gather information and therefore don’t appreciate the vast store of information contained on the web. (Need to know how many teaspoons in a tablespoon? Just speak into your phone. No need to memorize that.)
2. They tend to shorten their writing, using snippets of information and abbreviations. Heaven forbid that proper punctuation is used when writing a text to someone!
3. Their dependence on spellcheck and word correction as they type actually makes them less likely to know proper word usage and spelling. Of course, they can get away with it when they text their friends or post tweets, but it is a poor presentation of themselves when they send an email or correspond with a potential employer.
4. They aren’t reading as many books, and they have less of a desire to. With YouTube videos on practically any subject, streaming movies, plus informational snippets like TED Talks, why take the time to read anything? The idea of being “well read” is lost to many students.
5. They gather their news and information about the world as it is parsed out to them. This means they are being actively cut off from the complete stories, relying on the media to let them know what is important, what is not, and how to think about it all. It’s so much easier!

All of these things contribute to dependence on technology which dulls the mind and creates individuals who don’t know how to reason or think for themselves. As a nation, we are losing the art of information gathering and appreciation of knowledge (not just looking stuff up). We are allowing our children to think less and click more.

How do we change that? Encourage reading…even if it is Peanuts comics. Have conversations more. Walk into a brick and mortar library and let them experience the joy of the information it contains. Teach grammar and spelling. Play word games together. Act out plays. All of this helps to build communication and thinking skills which will benefit them no matter what career direction they take.

Now let me be clear. I am NOT against using the internet, technology, or social media. (After all, I have a blog, don’t I?) I am just concerned that we are taking it for granted and relying on it too much.

Balance, friends.

Watch a funny You Tube video together and then follow it up with reading a short story out loud.

Purpose to provide your kids the educational balance they need, and they will be able to THINK!

The post How (Not) To Build Deep Thinkers first appeared on Sherri Seligson.

First, there is a renewed sense of the importance of legacy when you are holding a little person in your arms and realize that your heart suddenly grew even larger. I mean, how many people, when you meet them for the first time, would you be able to say, “I would take a bullet for you!”?

Really.

As I held this amazing little one, I was overcome with love for her. Of course, I felt that with each of my own children, but I had time to bond with them over the duration of the pregnancy. This was a smack-in-the-face kind of love, and the idea of generations took on new meaning. It gave me a better understanding of the importance of leaving a legacy and sharing the wonders of God’s world and His word.

Then I noticed my son holding her and realized I was watching him for the first time as a dad. He is a father, not just my son. I think back to the days when he was little and remember sweet times when we read together on the couch. I also remember the challenging times when we were training him. I remember the school days when we worked so hard on that difficult concept and all I could think about was the possibility that we would ALWAYS be on this subject and NEVER be able to move on!

But now, he is a head of a household. He is working at a wonderful job, building a relationship with his amazing wife, and leading a family.

I wondered if there was anything we forgot to tell him. Did we prepare him for this?

These are the things that we all as parents think about. Are we teaching our children the things they need to know to prepare them for life? Frankly, there is just not enough time to do that in a short 18 years or so.

Not to worry.

Let me use education as an example. There is just not enough time to teach a child everything there is to know about everything in their K-12 education. No matter how hard they (and you) work, you probably won’t get to cover 13th century Chinese literature or the string theory in science.

But if you teach them how to LEARN, and where to find information, then when they realize they don’t know something, they are confident to go find out. They know where to go for the information they need. They are self-learners. Of course, to do this, you must model it, too. You as a parent have to work to love learning yourself. You need to be an example of one who searches out information you need to know or want to know. Life is full of opportunities to learn, and what a privilege we have to be able to continue to educate ourselves!

Now for the preparing-for-life thing. There is just not enough time or opportunity to prepare our children for every life situation.

But we can teach them where to find that information. If you are teaching your children biblical principles, then you are giving them a solid foundation on which they can build their relationships and character. They have a place to go to when they need guidance. By searching God’s word and building a relationship with Him, they can seek wisdom for any situation they come up against.

So, yes, I think my son is prepared for life. We haven’t gone over all the possible things he might experience in his career, within his marriage, or as a parent. But we have covered what God says in His word. We have covered the importance of building a relationship with Him. And we have covered the importance of character and hard work. I believe these things will give him what he needs as a father, husband, and a man!

The post Are Your Children Prepared for Life? first appeared on Sherri Seligson.

I wholeheartedly believe that you, as “Mom,” have the most challenging, intense, sometimes thankless and dirtiest job there is. And it’s a job that in our society is perceived as a mediocre one. We fall into this trap and begin to say, “I’m JUST a mom.” But God says something different. He gives us the Proverbs 31 woman. Now, we all look at her as a standard we just can’t meet. Yet look at what she did.

She humbly, day-in-day-out served and loved her family. She cooked, cleaned, and sewed for them. She was up late at night and early in the morning. She was faithful. Not famous. Not self-serving. And that is who the Lord gives us as an example of blessed.

We think we need to make a name for ourselves to be significant. We need to have an awesome blog, an exciting career, or something else to put over the top of the title: homemaker. This is a lie from the enemy. The selfless work you do for your children is the BEST and most praised thing you can do for them and the Lord’s kingdom. You are a world changer!

The post You Are Not JUST a Mom first appeared on Sherri Seligson.

Camel humor.

Many folks think the Wednesday-dread is common only to those in a 9-5 job, but we all fall into this temptation of thinking that once we get over that mid-week hump, it is all downhill from there to the ultimate days of the weekend!

It is easy to face the work week with dread. For me, Sunday evenings would sometimes feel like that bracing moment just before you are ready to dive into very cold water. You tense up, wince, and just jump in. Get that shocking blast in the face over with and endure the challenging week ahead until the next weekend.

Well, I was getting ready to make to post on my Facebook page, rejoicing that the work week was half over, but then I realized I don’t want it to go quickly. I don’t want to be living from one weekend to another, just biding my time until Saturday and Sunday.

If we live that way, we are missing some of the sweetest life moments…mealtime, soccer games, and yes, washing dishes and doing laundry. Granted, those activities in themselves aren’t glamorous or celebrated, but they mean that we are doing life. We have food to eat, we have clothes to wash, we even have leisure time to take our children to sporting activities.

When I ask my kids what some of their greatest memories are, I get as many comments about those day-to-day activities as the vacations or weekend fun. They think back to those mundane moments just as fondly as those exciting ones. Why?

Because it is with the ordinary things that the extraordinary happens. An experience at a theme park only lasts a day or two. But the day-to-day memories with family are deeply anchored and cherished. An experience being a parent is a lifetime of joys. And even the sorrows and difficulties it brings make us get on our knees in prayer. They bring us closer to our God. I can truly say that being a wife, mother, and homeschooler has grown my prayer life. I know how good our Lord is, and how great His love is for me.

And I learned that by walking through the ordinary, not from a day at Disney World.

So don’t spend 5/7 of your life waiting for the weekend. Embrace the daily ordinary stuff and LIVE it!

The post What’s So Extraordinary about Wednesday? first appeared on Sherri Seligson.