We produce basal tears constantly. In fact, your eyes will produce about 30 gallons of tears during your lifetime!

The second type of tears is called reflex tears. These are made when our eyes experience irritation, such as when we chop onions. Designed to flush away harmful chemicals or particles, they are released in much larger amounts than basal tears. Reflex tears contain lots of antibodies to prevent any harmful microorganisms that might attack, too.

The third type of tears is the one we think of most often: emotional tears. You know why these are released. They happen when we feel deep emotions, such as fear, sadness, or even excess hilarity or happiness. When my family plays board games, for example, I often find myself laughing so hard, I end up crying! Why is that? Well, the amazing design of our body allows us to cry emotional tears when the body feels a loss of stabilization.

You better believe I am unstable when I am laughing that hard!

These tears are released to help stabilize our moods. Scientists are still completely unsure why these tears are helpful, but some studies have shown that emotional tears contain higher levels of stress hormones, such as enkephalin, which is an endorphin and natural painkiller. Isn’t it amazing that our bodies produce hormones that help to reduce pain and make us feel better when we are stressed?

So where am I going with all this?

Well, we know of several times in the Bible where men and women, and even Jesus, shed tears. Usually, the accounts are associated with deep emotions, so they are involving more than the basal or reflex tears. They are emotional tears.

It is not a mistake that we were made as people with emotion. Our modern Western society has often encouraged us to hide our feelings and hold things inside. But think of the Israelites. I often think about why God chose these people and their amazing culture. Many Mediterranean cultures, like the Israelites, are filled with people who freely express their emotions. Coming from a Middle Eastern background, I know this intimately.

When my family is happy about something, there is dancing, food, singing, food, hugging, and more food. When they are sad, there are tears, food, hugging, food, and…well…more food.

You always know what they are thinking because it is held out there for us all to see! But I think that is a good thing.

The Bible often mentions tears as a great means of expressing emotional stress, happiness, and grief. Who are we to think otherwise?

And science is beginning to reveal to us some of the many benefits of shedding tears. They are a healthy part of living life.

So if you are dealing with the emotional stress of grief, don’t hold back your tears! It is a great thing to express your emotions, instead of keeping them inside. We aren’t designed to walk this life alone. We are a part of the greater body of Christ. Find those around you who you can be transparent with. I mean, we shouldn’t be airing our deepest feelings to the world, necessarily. But we shouldn’t be holding them to ourselves, either. Look for a dear friend or family member who you can be safe with. Share your heart!

Parents, it is so important to show emotion in front of your children. Let them see you when you are stressed, happy, sad, or concerned. Then let them watch as you work through those situations, praying, sharing, and living them. You will be opening up opportunities to guide them as they become young adults and need to work through challenges.

Most importantly, show them the importance of throwing “…all your anxiety upon him [God], because he cares for you.” (1Pet. 5:7)

Remember, “The Lord is near to the brokenhearted, and saves the crushed in spirit.” (Ps. 34:18)

So if you’re dealing with grief, emotional stress, or even sheer joy, you don’t need to hold back your tears. Allowing them to flow helps your body to do its job of keeping you healthy. Allowing them to flow helps you to communicate to those around you what’s going on. Allowing them to flow builds your relationships with dear friends and family.

It can bring you to your knees to the One who made you to feel. The One who loves you! The One who wants you to come to him because, indeed, he cares for you!

The post Tears and the Love of God first appeared on Sherri Seligson.

Wait. During the beginning of the school year, I was thinking that once the kids settled into their school schedule, things will finally slow down and I can enjoy life again.

Now that I think about it, I thought this in the summer, too, with its crazy travel, mission trips, and non-routine activities.

Have you ever had these thoughts? As I look back to the days when my children were toddlers and infants, I sometimes felt that things would finally slow down once they all were potty trained and I didn’t need to carry that diaper bag around.

Then I believed, once they were all out of car seats, things would finally become easier.

Or once they were all reading for themselves… Or once they were all driving…

It seemed that there was always some season of the year or season of life that was making my life crazy-busy, and I believed that once that time was over, things would finally slow down and I could enjoy life again.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I haven’t always been living with this “I can’t wait for this to be over” feeling. I did enjoy the times we were in. But those thoughts definitely came into my head often.

Well, I am finally realizing that that type of thinking is not only a waste of time, it is completely wrong!

You see, we will ALWAYS be in a busy season. We will ALWAYS have something that seems like a time hurdle, and once it is over, things will go back to normal.

What is normal?

“Normal” is the fullness of living. It is the busy-ness of raising our children. It is the messy-ness of dealing with others. It is sick children, parties, ailing parents, celebrations, financial issues, graduations, educational struggles, hostessing, deaths, and births.

If we are always living in the “I can’t wait until tomorrow” mode, then we will never be able to enjoy today. I think the challenge is for us to realize that “back to normal” is a fantasy.

Wiping runny noses, tending to fevers, sitting down to hash out issues with your spouse, balancing the budget after the Christmas holiday, teaching fractions, helping out aging parents all are a part of the normal. And if we are always imagining that those things are just hurdles to pass so we can finally slow down, not only will we be missing out on what is going on around us, we could become bitter and resent anything that makes our life busier.

I don’t know about you, but sometimes I would find myself resenting the impending Christmas break. I loved celebrating Christmas, but all of the extra work and activity often made me wish we could just skip it.

How sad is that?

My problem? (well, ONE of my problems)

I am owning my time. I feel like these things infringe into my perfect plans and keep me from having my peace.

I, my, me.

Yep. That’s the issue.

I keep falling into it, too.

This is what reminds me that I should not be living in a fantasy version of tomorrow. I should make the most of the opportunities God has given me. What are those you might ask?

Well, He has given me a marriage to continue to build as we help each other to grow spiritually and can serve others around us. He has given me children to raise and train, eventually so they can launch out of our home to become a light to the world. He has given me extended family and dear friends to celebrate life’s joys and to support during life’s challenges.

This is the messy stuff. This is the stuff I couldn’t wait until it was over so I could finally get “back to normal.” I am finally realizing that THIS IS THE NORMAL.

And in God’s perfect wisdom, it is exactly what I need to keep me on my knees before Him. It is exactly what I need so that I don’t become lazy, or prideful, or apathetic, or callous.

I can truly say I am grateful for the busy (when I am in my right mind). I am grateful that I have these children in my life to watch them grow and mature, I am grateful I have my parents to be with so I can continue to learn from them, I am grateful for extended family and friends who I can support and marvel as I see God working in their lives.

I need to be making the best use of my time. The “finally slowing down” I have been fantasizing about is false. If I had no one to love, to be with, to serve, then things may be slower but there would be no joy in life, would there?

Yes, we need to plan rest into our days. But if we are always living in the imagined perfection of tomorrow, we will never embrace the beauty that is around us right now.

So today, take some time to thank the Lord for the busy-ness around you. Ask Him for strength to live in it and realize that there are so many blessings that come from it!

Have an extraordinary day!

Sherri

The post Are You Living in the Fantasy of a Perfect Tomorrow? first appeared on Sherri Seligson.

In preparing for a workshop for an upcoming conference, I have been spending time in the Bible, looking for parenting, children, and marriage encouragement. We all want to know how to be the best parents. We love our children from the moment they are placed into our arms. Our entire lives are changed at that moment, now having to consider the needs of a new life.

So we read books – learning about scheduling, nutrition, and educational stimulation. As they grow, we try to figure out the best ways to discipline and train them. We seek information on when to begin music lessons, sports, math tutoring. We just want them to thrive as well-adjusted, well-educated individuals (and as Christians, we of course want them to know the Lord!).

However, did you know that the one best thing you can do for your children doesn’t directly involve them?

When you and your spouse build your marriage, you are benefiting your children in a way that nothing else can compare. Children need to see you working together, laughing together, even crying together. They need to know that you are for each other. Now, that doesn’t mean that you two have to go around the house singing “It’s a Small World” all day (sorry, now you probably have that melody in your head).

What I mean is, they need to see you go through your days as a team. When one of you is struggling, the other should be there to encourage you on. When there is a disagreement between you both, your children need to hear you work it out. And if they hear you “discussing” things in a loud manner, they need to see you work to reconcile. You may even need to come to them, asking for forgiveness for your behavior as you worked things out.

Let’s face it. Living together as a family can be stressful and hard. Water pipes break. Kids cry (all night sometimes). Bank accounts empty. But if you and your spouse are in this race together, your children will have the comfort and peace, knowing that you are committed to each other, willing to go through any trials that may come. They need to see you bringing your concerns before the Lord, too. They need to know Who you go to when things get difficult!

You see, you don’t have to paint a false picture for your children that life is a fairy tale. That will actually do them harm, because once they get out on their own, they will quickly see that it isn’t, and they will struggle. But if you show them how to live in the midst of life’s challenges, you will exhibit to them what to expect in a marriage relationship. You will provide them the security they need to see: their parents love them and are committed to them and to each other. You are showing them beautiful glimpses of their Heavenly Father as you walk through your days.

So as you plan your family calendar, make sure to purpose some “Mommy and Daddy” time. Let your children know that you need to be together alone sometimes. Make a point to go on dates together – even if it’s just for coffee on the back porch.

Let your children cringe when they see you kiss or hug each other. They may be wincing on the outside, but they are being filled up on the inside!

The post The One Best Thing Parents Can Do for Their Children – and it doesn’t cost anything! first appeared on Sherri Seligson.