Distracted children seem to have such a difficult time tuning out things unless THEIR task is the most interesting. Perhaps engage him in conversation about one aspect of the meal, asking him to try to identify what makes a certain food taste so good. Also, short breaks from a task are also helpful. I think of the tea party in Alice in Wonderland that was constantly interrupted when they would say “Change seats, change seats!” and everyone had to move to a different spot. Without having to disrupt mealtime, maybe try something that is a break from eating. Maybe have a picture card in front of each person’s spot and ask everyone to stop and look at the card without showing anyone else what it is, then have them describe what’s on their card to see who can guess it. Things like that engage the whole family and might help to break up the constancy to help them refocus back on their food. Keep trying and just know that much of it is not defiance. It is just their wiring that needs to mature and be directed. That takes time! 🙂